As the redneck world turns: cocaine, butt grabbin, and stuffed to the gills

Hello all from the the bottom of redneck hill with the holiday madness…

We actually didn’t have any drama because meth ho and her spawn stayed home.  Unfortunately someone in the family on my brother-in-laws side had passed away.  But we still went on with the festivities…

First my there was ass grabbing…by my man and his sis?  Yea i know to much info..i asked if they were from west va and found out that yes their is family from there…hmm that explains alot.

My brother-in-law was out hunting..and my man was the only male in the house…i could see his man hood shriveling…lol Usually they are the ass grabbers acting retarded…i actually have a picture of them pretending to be attacking each other with knifes….so my man stuffed his face and out the door hunting he went.  Most of the fun was around my niece who’s catch phrase of the day was “no way”  with such attitude!

then my nieces thought i would be great to take white powder sugar from the donuts the 2 yr old was eating and put it under her nose.  Next the instructed her to say “i love cocaine”  great…that's just what she needs to repeat at preschool…i was a bit comical though…when she was going up to people saying i love cocaine…

Ugh i ate so much that i think I am going to hurl…never go to thanksgiving starving…you eyes will be bigger than ur stomach.

So i have left the feast and headed home…because in this family more than 3 hours (not days) it starts to stink…esp after those deviled eggs

so i am here on the couch in pj…no man and kids quietly playing somewhere…ahhh what a day…i would go to bed now…but i better wait at least an hour for my belly to settle…wish me luck i go out in the crazy blk friday tomorrow for the first time with my sister-in-law..4 am is early…means i will be up by 3.

i hope everyone had a blast on their turkey day!!!

Gobble Gobble

Hello and happy Turkey day!!!

I hope everyone has a great thanksgiving with all the delicious treats and no drama!

I am thankful for a healthy family, having a job, a roof over my head and food on the table…

what are you thankful for?

how pumpkin pies are made

what the hell Wednesday: holiday blues

What The Hell Wednesday: Holiday Randomness

Welcome to this week's edition of WTHW. This week we journey into the realm of Holiday madness cheer, turkeys, pumpkin pie, Christmas trees, jolly fat men in red suites who like to Ho, shiney balls and stupid questions.

1. This Thursday is Thanksgiving. Tell us something you are not looking forward to.  Going to drama mama’s house for thanksgiving…i just hope this one holiday we all can just get along.  I have never seen so much drama and unfamily get togethers in my life with my in laws…sheesh
2. What is the one thing you are most thankful for this year?

actually being off for thanksgiving…been 4 yrs since the last time i had it off…
3. Most families get together for the holidays. Are your family gatherings on the pleasant side or do they tend to be more drama filled? see number one…i am sure my blog will be full of redneck drama

4. The President has decided not to call his tree a Christmas tree, but instead is calling it a Holiday tree. Do you think this is a good idea, just plain stupid or you could care less either way? I have decided not to call my president my president this holiday instead we will call him dumb ass in charge that is not religious or from this country…effin retard!

5. Are you going shopping on Black Friday and if so are you insane? Well you would think years of working walmart would make me say no…esp since i usually work it anyway..but i have actually thought about going with my sister in law just for shits and giggles…i am off for the first time in many years…so insane i am
6. What is up with Santa and his Hos? Mmm when did meth ho start sleeping with santa?  i thought he would have better taste than that…

7. Do you have any favorite holiday traditions? with my in laws? pfft…i would much rather have a tradtion of pulling my blankets over my head and sleep thru it…

8. I am afraid my 2 year old will attack the Christmas tree this year (she has "oooo shiney" syndrom). What do you suggest I do to keep her from destroying the tree and running off with all the ornaments?  Mejis no idea…tie her to a chair till the season is over? Glad its you and not me!

9. What is the worst gift you have ever received?  my ex bought me a vacuum cleaner one year…yea lets just say he didn’t get any for awhile 

10. Do think Santa Claus is creepy?  Since i am santa…not creepy maybe weird though…

11. How do you celebrate New Years Eve? working…who hoo another year..watch the ball drop for the 20th time…get drunk and get pulled over..no thanks
12. Do you believe in re-gifting (aka giving someone else a present you got but don't like)? If i know i can’t return it…guilty
13. Are you one of those people who save the bows and undamaged gift wrap off of the opened gifts? Christmas time no…to much to keep up with..but bday yea…

As the redneck world turns: KABOOM!

Okay first some history….my man before having a ready made family use to keep loaded guns around the house because you never know what kind of crazy might break in. Paranoid?  No prepared he tells me.  He actually had a loaded gun in his recliner.  He told me that he was sleeping one time and this bible seller came in the house and he said he scared the crap out of the man because he pulled the gun on him.  Course the jack ass shouldn’t have come in the house while he was sleeping.  Anyway when me and my girls moved in he had to break the habit of having loaded guns.  Because if something happen to my girls I would be force to shoot him…lol

He does pretty good and locks his guns and bullets up now but around hunting season he sometimes forgets and i have to nag him…yes I said nag…because i tell him and it goes in one ear and out the other.  Knowing my luck I would be me cleaning and I would end up shooting myself.  Course he tells me to leave his crap alone and he would clean it up himself.  Yea okay 3 months later maybe.  Anyway…a couple days ago he was putting his bullets back up in the lock box and the lock fell off and on to the dresser top…KABOOM!!!

My hubby says all he saw was a flash of light…and oh shit what did i shoot???

Nothing thank GOD…dumbass had bought some high power poppers for forth of July and some fell out of the box and when the lock fell off it hit one of those and scared the shit out of my man.  I laughed my arse off at him.  Serves him right!  I think now he will try a little harder..at least for a little while.

Dear so and so

Okay so Mejis got this fun game from 3 bedroombungalow site and I thought I would play..you just make up some letter that you would love to send out…if you could

Dear Drama Queen

Even though you never stop by, call or contact your aunt and uncle in anyway unless its the Month of Nov and Dec because your b-day and Christmas are coming.  You could at least pretend when you get a gift especially money and a card that was handmade by your cousins that you actually gave a crap.  You could at least tell them THANK YOU!  Most people with half a brain can figure that one out…

Sincerely,

one pissed off aunt

Dear nursing board,

Thank you so very much for waiting at the last moment to tell us that LPN would need 45 more hours for RN school than the rest of the class.  Like I don’t have anytime to sleep now?

Sincerely,

sleep deprived student nurse

Dear schedule lady,

Please stop putting people on the schedule who are not scheduled just to  make it look good for state.  And people who cannot actually work as a CNA don’t make it seem that they are and leave us with 52 patients and 2 CNAs…its illegal

p.s.  when your sitting on you butt at the desk…at least answer the call lights its the least you can do.

Sincerely,

Overworked and underpaid

Dear Bipolar brother in law,

Telling everyone your getting married on moment and then changing your mind because you are throwing a tantrum is not cool.  Quit throwing that in her face about getting married and then not because she caught you again in a lie. .and you need to know that she is the best thing in your life…why she is crazy enough to stay with you…we will never know. Quit effin it up already…Get a date already and stick with it. Some of us have a life and need to plan.…I don’t want another meth ho for a sister-in-law.

Thanks,

your sister-in-law who is stuck with you as family

Dear Verizon,

Thanks for the 220 dollar bill. Changing one week from the old contract 70 dollars and the rest for the current month is highway robbery…thanks for stealing Christmas from my kids this year…

sincerely one broke Santa

Dear redneck asshole,

Working  Pepsi maybe a hard job but unless you run someone over with a pallet jack you will not kill anyone.  Your job is not more stressful than one that deals with patients that can die on you.  You will not get sued and most like will never go to jail for making a mistake.  Not only am I working 25hours a week I am attending full time nursing school and expected to work 40 hours on housework. There is not magic fairy that does your laundry and puts it nicely in the drawers.  If you run out of towel most likely laundry was not done.  Its called do a load of laundry…I should not have to tell you when things need to get done you need to do them.  No one tells you to wipe your arse when its dirty.  Duh…

Sincerely,

Tired of “equal” rights and my job is more stressful crap

Sims day at school

So usually we have Sims lab at Radford university even though we have our own Sims lab.  The sad part is that there is not enough faculty to actually run it.  But this last Thursday we actually got to use it will our teacher.  Now mind you it wasn’t as organized as our main SIMS.  But these SIMS were set up to keep failing as we were failing.  For Example the first group of 4 went up and had a patient that was in the ER for a knee amputation that was bleeding.  So they knew that they had to put pressure on the site.  But there was no orders to go by to figuring out the meds or protocol was really hard.  They hung Fluids and gave pain meds…but the patient got worse and before you knew it they were doing CPR.  It was actually more comical…because they were running around..and it was so chaotic… But they were trying harder and harder and the patient just got worse…I was dreading my turn…well out patient was a surgery patient that came in to the ER unconscious with a crazy wife that we had to try to calm down and get out of the room because she was beating on the patient.  Come to find out we had to go back and get info from her to find out that the patient had OD on Lortabs.  So we had to give Narcan and fluids…and then the patient of course got to decline on us and we had to use the ambu bag on the patient.  The more we did the more thing the patient declined….it was comical..but the reality is it was scary as hell…that at some point…i will be doing this for real!

We got to practice putting in ET tube…which was awesome…

 

We also convinced the teacher to do the simulation…so we could have a good laugh..forgot she worked in ER on her summer days…crap she did pretty good with 2 other students…even one of the students pretended to be the girlfriend of the gun shot wound patient…now that was comical…she did an awesome crazy person…so that was my fun on Thursday.  We also ate out to celebrate the last clinical for the year!!!! whoo hoo!!!

Hanging on by a thread

I have been trying to keep my head above water at school, between trying to juggle work and many other things for school it makes it hard to get good study time.  In nursing you have to have a C in order to pass (75).  I have had to B on my tests and the rest have been C.  Mainly because I really need to increase my study time.  The biggest scare is that I have the worse freaking subject left…immunology and endocrine…ugh  So instead of hunting this year at thanksgiving I will be working on my 3 papers and redoing my stupid care plan.  I didn’t learn how to do the care plan like the 1st year students did.  She was a little more lenient on the LPN students because we all messed up the same parts.  So we get to redo it and turn it in after thanksgiving…I hope to get time to study for this freaking test…I am sssooooooo tired…that I am trying to stay awake in class…and trying not to fall asleep behind the wheel….sheesh…if i graduate…i plan to sleep a month to catch up…

What the hell Wednesday:Traditions

This weeks WTH is brought to you by something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue…here we go

1. What do you look forward to when you turn 70? Retiring you would think …but with this president you might have to work till you die.
2. If you could go back to high school what is one thing you would change? Good grief just one? Um my junior year…mauhaha 
3. What was one thing you were not allowed to do but all of your friends could? wear make-up and go teepeeing at Halloween
4. What has a friend/neighbor borrowed that they haven’t returned? hmm there were many things meth ho borrowed and did not returned…where to begin..mainly DVD…i had one “friend borrow 12 books that i never got back..biotch
5. What have you borrowed and not returned and why? 4 books that i borrow from a friend back home, i haven’t gone back home and 2 i have to replace one that got wet from a kid who spilled something on it…grrr
6. Have you ever gone over to a neighbors to borrow food? (example a cup of sugar) Okay this is sad to admit…but my mother-in-law lives next door and she is our local supermarket sometimes.  It never fails i will be making brownies or macaroni and i needed 1/4 a cup of oil or milk…i call and get some..lol
7. If you could replace one thing in your house and make it new what would it be? Can it be my man?lol My dryer i guess i would be nice for it to stop running…
8. If you could change one aging aspect physically and make it young and new again what would it be? less fat would be nice…
9. What is one thing on the news that you wish  would never be mentioned again? the balloon kid…good grief 
10. What is one thing your family never knew about you? That I am a secret agent…what kind of crack was i smoking when i made this question? 
11. Name a song that gives you the blues? Sarah Beth by rascal flatts
12. Name something that is blue? If you talk to my man…it would be his nuts…lol how about a smurf… 
13. What in blue blazes is this? One of my kids throwing a fit?  hehe duh its fizgig 

My life in chaos

Okay dialysis paper and AA are still due,
Get tomorrows notes for muscular system too.
One more dose of Sim’s Lab left to do,
I haven’t even started the questions, boo hoo.
Registration for spring, Graduation form turned in,
More money to come up with, this should be the end.
Make up clinicals for the free clinic coming soon,
Time for 12 hours at work, great a full moon.
12 hours nah, let’s make it 14 hours instead,
No help again, guess i will come home dead.
Get out the poster board, get out the glue,
It’s time to teach brushing teeth to rugrats too.
1st of the month, have i done the bills yet?
Nope its the 5th and I am now far in debt.
Kids to and from church tonight,
Say a pray for mom alright?
School uniform washing for clincals next week,
I forgot my uniform last time, i just started to shriek.
Questions for psych, missed that email,
Hurry up, hurry up, I am going to fail.
Dog jumping on laptop
Feed me Feed me you forgot!
12 year old cooking again, not time to stop,
My Care plan is due, my head is about to pop.
School nurse and OB next on the list,
Oh darn, man’s birthday I just about missed.
Christmas shopping done yet? It’s almost here,
Nope last minute shopping for me I fear.
3am care plan is done,
Printer has died, oh great, what fun.
Why does this thing  decided to waits until then?
Jump drive and email to the rescue again.
Woke up at 5 with sick kid number 2
With a nice temperature of 102.2.
Kid 1 calls, my lunch pail is at home!
Sorry mom is in school, can’t answer the phone.
6 months to go, until the big date,
Won’t my life be dull….after I graduate.

the never ending crud

Okay so i have had this crud nearly 3 weeks.  Or so it seems…i was under the weather 3 weeks ago and lying around for 3 days felt better except for this annoying cough.  i finally though i had beat it.  Then I get the crud again…no fever, aches, congestion, cough…

So i had enough..went to the doctors to tell him that i had an upper resp/ bronchitis infection.  Only to be told I probably had the flu…though i have no fever?? Any way wasted my time with the test to show?  NO FLU dumb arse…what do i have?  upper resp/ bronchitis…stupid shit.  Anyway started on Z-pack, tussinex and clarenx D.  Finally starting to feel better.  So i have a weeks worth of studying to cram into today.  Ah what fun.  i am beginning to forget what its like to feel well…i guess the next thing i will get will be the swine flu?  sheesh!

Anyway Thursday i had to do my hours to make up for LPN school, OB…funny thing was not a single OB patient.  Yea i had one patient that was there got gyno problems and that was it.  So it was pretty boring.  I did get to do a catheter.  But i look at it this way at least no babies could get sick cause of me….well off to study musculoskeletal and vascular…

Thursday thunk

H1N1 Insane TT Questions Of The Week

Welcome to the November 12th version of Thursday Thunks!
(which we always seem to post on Wednesday)

This week we will answer some

crazy questions brought to you by

Kimber & her fathead hubby Anthony, the color of chocolate and the number 2.

1. Thursday Thunks is written by 2 insane women (Berleen & Kimber) that have never met face to face yet are best friends. One lives in Minnesota and the other in Arizona. They keep trying to convince each other to move to their state. What color house will Berleen have here in Arizona? not sure of the house color but i bet you the walls will be padded..lol

2. Do you dream in black & white or color, and how do you know your brain isn't just playing games with you?  my minds to young to be in blk and white

3. Does bubble gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost?  ewww…i bet you bud has alot of notches on his though…lol

4. We're buying Underoos. Which superhero do you pick? well since i am a female…i would have to pass..plus i am a little old for this question

5. Do you think if you yell loud enough while watching your favorite sporting event, it makes a difference in the outcome of the event? now how the heck to i answer this since i don’t watch sports??? i guess i yell at the commercials cause they are so darn loud you have to

6. Is the word gullible in the dictionary? nope its not just go look and see kimber

7. If you could pick any currancy to be the face on which currancy would it be?  anything but obama…then again we wouldn’t see much of it anyway…he is either flushing it down the toliet or making it impossible for us to earn any with all these new jobs he has created

8. What was your imaginary friend's name as a kid, and did they ever annoy you or just us? omg he’s dead?  why the hell did you wait now to tell me?

9. Do you think it's ironic that the poop deck is in the rear of the ship? no i find it ironic that you guys are entertained with that fact…lol

What the hell Wednesday: Sorry we are closed

okay so i have the crud again..and had i not spent all of yesterday in the bed I wouldn’t have been a day behind in thinking…I would have let mejis do the meme…so we will be seeing you all next week…till then…avoid the crud like the plague…and now its time for more nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, best sleep you ever got with a cold medicine…but tends to give me nightmares…nitequil